Once again...

Hello! I don't know if there's anyone who still reads this blog, but in case you're wondering why I haven't posted in a while it's because I've moved here: http://allons-y-linusrenee.blogspot.com/ I just realized that some of my other social media profiles listed this blog as my blog or website and that I'd forgotten to change it. I think that's all been fixed now. But since I just discovered that I figured I would come back and re-share the new location for my random thinkings. :) again, that's here: http://allons-y-linusrenee.blogspot.com/ Thanks!

Sorry for the confusion

ok, well, I apologize for all of the craziness regarding my blogging....I just needed to consolidate my blogs, so I've moved - again. For those desiring to continue to be in the know about what's going on in and around my mind and life. please find me here: http://allons-y-linusrenee.blogspot.com/

flurry of posts

why does it always seem that once I've updated my blog once in a day about a particular thing I find in that same day so many other things with which I want to update my blog? In those situations, I often find myself trying to wait until tomorrow or in a few days from now so that my blog-readers aren't faced with a downpour only to go through a drought for another week, month, etc.

Well, today, while I'm thinking about it, I'll post another. I've been doing a lot of thinking about writing recently. Probably in part because I just watched Woody Allen's new film Midnight in Paris yesterday. It was a film that seemed made for me. I don't want to spoil it for anyone, and I do highly suggest going to see it, so I won't go into too many details. When I stopped and thought about why I think that film was made for me, and how a writer/director like Woody Allen could write/direct a film for me is when I realized this: although we're veryvery people, we're both artists. We're both writers, we're both driven by the desires and frustrations of making art, bringing meaning to life.

Thinking those sorts of things, that I might have something in common with someone who is known for their art, gives me hope, and a desire to try to keep pushing through those walls-of-fears that I've built that keep myself safe from my own desire to create art.

Well, that's it for now, I guess. Maybe later there'll be another post...

blessed

it's not very often that I talk about much else on here than leaving for Scotland. But after church last night I just needed to pause and say a few things about the amazing blessing that Rock Harbor Fullerton has been in my life.
Week after week I'm continually amazed by what I've seen God do in this place and how I watch Him continue to work in the lives of the community He's gathering to himself in this place. I have been grown and stretched and loved on in and by this community that it will - no matter what happens in the rest of my life - be a very big part of my heart.
One of the hardest parts about leaving for school in Scotland is leaving this community*family*body of Christ (each of those words on its own isn't expressive enough, therefore the combination). My excitement about what God is doing and will continue to do in North Orange County, in the City of Fullerton, in and through RH Fullerton has only grown from those first days we met to pray together for what this campus might be. As it's Summertime we're moving into our summer rhythms as a church, but that also includes murmurs, thoughts, plans for what's to come in the Fall. Every time I hear about those I experience a very bittersweet excitement. I can't wait for this family of mine to move into these adventures. I long to be praying for them from wherever I am about whatever is happening here. However I can't shake the slight sadness of being able to see it first-hand. Which is when I'm reminded of the amazing things I'll be getting to be a part of where I am and the prayers from this family that I know will follow me and surround me all the way out to Scotland.
As I walk and drive around Fullerton I can't help but imagine what this city can and will grow into as the Church (both RH Fullerton and the body of Christ in Fullerton) continues to pour out themselves into it.

Accommodation!

Today I received some more exciting news from Aberdeen! I have a place to live! This year they started a new discount scheme for International Student housing that provided places in a particular group of residence halls at a significant discount! So, when I could I applied for that. I'm not sure who my flatmates will be, and I'm not sure if Aberdeen will supply that information or if I'll just have to wait and see. If you could be praying for whomever they may be, that would be wonderful! The residence hall I'll be in is named Hector Boece after the first president of King's College in Aberdeen (one of the schools that would become University of Aberdeen).

After receiving this today there's very little left that I need to procure in order to start making my application for a student visa! It's crazy how quickly things seem to be moving despite what has felt like endless waiting before this point. It's becoming more real and more exciting every day!

allons-y!

oh, and these are fun reads....

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/dont-date-a-girl-who-reads/ (there are 2 pages, read both of them)

and then read the response:

http://littlemissdorkette.tumblr.com/post/3118512524/date-a-girl-who-reads-by-rosemarie-urquico

enjoy!

It's Been A While...

Wow, blogging. I feel like it's been an age since I last was on here to properly update this - to inform everyone about what's been going on.
Well, since my last update, I've been kept rather busy. Between work and church and trying to live as presently as possible while I'm still here in Southern California - soaking in ever last sun ray. And despite my complaints of feeling like I've been waiting forever, the year has flown by. Somehow it's already June and next thing I know, I'll be in Aberdeen.
If I could properly remember what's happened in between I'd tell you all about it. Unfortunately, that's not possible as my brain doesn't want to cooperate with me at the present. All I know is that it has been a very full year. From my first vacation without my family to watching many dear friends get married to growing up a little more and learning more every day...I really wish I'd been better at keeping this thing up, it would be useful to go back and look at what's happened. Oh, and as I've not documented all of the projects, I'll just have to hope you trust me when I say that the cooking and baking has also been still going on. In fact, I made a Red Velvet cake from scratch - and it wasn't just any red velvet cake, it was a red velvet TARDIS cake!

Well, that's all for now. I'll hopefully keep updating this more regularly, so you'll get to join me in this coming year, instead of waiting - like this year - many months before you get a lacking update.

I'm apparently bad at this blogging thing....

For those of you who prefer to not have too much in your various "reader" feeds, then my lack of posts probably has been a good thing. I apologize to those who have been hanging on the end of the last post since September. It's so strange to think about the fact that I haven't posted since September of last year. There'll be an update or two soon. And then I intend to get better at this posting thing because this'll be the place I keep updated with the coming adventures!

upate time!

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope this little update letter finds you all doing well. I just wanted to let you know what's going on in my life. As you may know, back in February I applied to the MLitt. Programme in the Novel at the University of Aberdeen in Scotland. Although there was a good bit of waiting, I found out in April that I was accepted! Of course, at that point, I knew that didn't necessarily mean I'd be going this Fall, simply because, well, school - especially internationally - is expensive. In the meantime, I searched out as many of the various scholarships and other funding sources that were still available to me, and I used some of my own means - from recycling to hosting several murder mystery parties for the cause - to try to raise some of the money. And, praise God, I did raise a good amount of money, unfortunately, as I drew closer to the end of the Summer, it looked like it would only barely scratch the surface, leaving a significant amount that would have to be covered by student loans.

I spent the month of July in prayer about whether I should go; taking on nearly double my school debt and whether that would be the wisest way to steward God's resources. After seeking God, and asking many of you to join me in doing so, I also sought counsel from my parents and others in my life that I trust as wise advisors. In the end, as you may have been able to figure out, since you're getting this update, I contacted Aberdeen and requested to defer my enrollment date to next September and will be spending this year applying for scholarship after scholarship and continuing to seek God with this now-and-not-yet part of my life.

If you could keep me in your prayers for this year, I would greatly appreciate it! I've decided to see this year as a time to live and grow in the relationships God has brought me into here, but also with an eye towards what the next year will bring as I head to Scotland. Already, in the month of August, I've seen God show up in working on my heart as I have been dealing with the disappointment about not leaving for Scotland as soon as I would have hoped, as well as the ways in which He's blessed me with great friends and church family! Also, be praying about the scholarships as I go searching.

Thanks for all of your love and support from the beginning of this process and your continued prayer through these next stages!

grace and peace,
Janelle Hann

beginning again...

or at least that's what it feels like. It feels like I'm back at the beginning of this process of school. Knowing I have a year until I leave is a little sad, a significant relief, and altogether strange. When I'd set my mind on leaving in a month it's weird to think that it will be a month and a year. But I'm glad I'll have the time to save more/raise more/find more funding and get the other aspects together.

I'm sure it doesn't help the feeling of starting over that I'll still be moving into a new place in the new future. So it's beginning again in many ways. Which makes me think of the things that begin again all the time: days, grace,...what a cyclical life we have here on Earth.

allons-y!

news!

Hello Dear Friends (and/or random internet readers).

So, since the post I made about prayer requests, my life has been full of exciting new twists and turns. Everyday in July, my resolve to defer my start date for Aberdeen has become more firm. There have been different reassurances of that direction. I still am waiting to see if I hear about the scholarships, but it seems more likely that I'll be around here for another year. To explain: I've been weighing the possibility of taking on almost double the school debt I have currently in order to pay for the year in Aberdeen or, taking the opportunity to defer my start date (which I'm allowed to do once, before having to re-apply) and spend the interim year saving like crazy, maybe picking up another job or just working even harder at my mary kay and murder mystery businesses in order to not have to rely only on student loans.

With that being said, the other part of what's been going on is that my current apartment is being blown to the four corners. As I was going to be leaving for school and one of the other gals is going to be leaving for the Middle East in the near future, we were all making plans for leaving this place around August. Well, a good number of the plans changed (like mine and my immediate room-roommate's) but not everyone's did, so we gave our 30-days on July 8th, and we've all been hustling to find new places. It's sad to see this apartment split. It's been fun living with these girls! I'm fortunate enough to be able to keep living with my flattie (the room-roommate) and to be adding another friend from church/biola, but the process for finding a place, and now, for trying to find a 4th person has certainly been interesting. Please pray for us as we try to get everything sorted. Thanks!

allons-y!

prayer requests

*post updated 6/30/10

as June ends, I want to ask for lots of prayer, that sounds a little selfish, but I believe that prayer is hugely important. Mostly, for the month of July, pray for me to a. have clarity b. wisdom, and c. feel palpably God's guidance. Thank you, so very much.

time to pack
time with friends
finances for school
transitioning well
travel
friends-yet-to-be-made
church family here
potential church family there
family
focus
time management
living situations
processing
and processes
and being processed

time

it's so relative. Days at work can feel like they're taking forever, a month from now can feel so close, two days from now can feel so far away. And what we do in the interim, in the waiting is important. learning to make time to listen and wait well can be so difficult. remembering to be present in the moments that pass, sometimes with rapidity, sometimes at a sloths' pace.

it's been a while

Hi Everyone,

I realize it's been a while since I've updated, but that's due to the fact that everything and yet nothing has happened. That's the thing about life. It keeps moving. And I say "that's the thing" because it's the best part and the most annoying part and the great part and the sad part. It keeps moving.

Well, last thing I said on here about Aberdeen is that I was collecting recyclables, and I still am. :-) I really need to turn in the trunk-full I have so that I can take the growing pile from out my apartment (sorry roommates...I'll take it out soon). If you happen to have any recyclables lying around, I'm still more than happy to take them.

*caveat: the following is slightly stream of consciousness, so bear with me as I explain what's been going on...

Since getting into the University of Aberdeen the focus has switched to finding the money to get there, as you've seen from the lovely donate button just to the left of this post, and the recycling program, etc. But it's also been searching endlessly for scholarships, grants, studentships, etc whose deadlines haven't already passed. Most of the ones I'd found were due back in February, or so. Wish I'd know that then. Then there's the possibility of loans. Do I take out loans? If so, how much? Do I get the loans now and then use what I'm hoping will come from elsewhere to pay them back? Do I find a lender like some information says I need to, or will Aberdeen take care of that for me? Will the lenders, with whom I've already worked, send their money to Scotland? or even cover grad school?
Of course there have been other things to focus on too, such as visa application processes, etc. What does it look like to get a visa to study in Scotland? I need a CAS? what's a CAS? (certificate of acceptance or something like that...) am I already supposed to have that? did Aberdeen send it? did I miss it? did I miss something I was supposed to send to them? Has volcanic ash slowed the mail so that they haven't gotten everything or so that I haven't gotten everything yet? What about housing? Aren't I supposed to get a package about what housing options I have? Oh, you mean no one's gotten their "Joining Pack" yet? So it's not just me? Oh good! So you're waiting too...ok, the rest of the visa application that I can't get to yet, what do I need for that? money? not just an application fee, but proof for all of the tuition? plus proof that I'll be able to sustain myself whilst abroad? are you kidding? I've been able to save how much? when do I find out about the scholarship that I could find? that gives how much time for them to process the visa? can it happen that fast? It's already half-way through May? When did that happen?

*freak out/stream of consciousness that was referenced in the caveat ends here. Below is an explanation.

To sum all of that up: there were lots of things thrown at me all of a sudden - 1st there are few to no scholarships out there that weren't due back before I applied; 2nd to apply for a student visa I need a couple of things, a school supplied CAS number and proof of money for tuition plus "maintenance" (aka: money to live on); 3rd FAFSA doesn't send the Student Aid Report (SAR) internationally - you have to ask for a paper copy, and then send it yourself; and as I read somewhere along the way I was under the impression that before I sent my SAR I'd need to find my own lender, sign an MPN (Master Promissory Note) and send it all together.

After much freaking out and finding out that a lot of what I "needed" to do couldn't be done yet, I prayed. I wish I could remember to do that first. I always seem to forget that part. Because each of the things "thrown" at me look familiar. It looks like God's saying, and this is how it is so Janelle can't boast of doing it on her own - to show His glory in all of it. After I prayed, I tried to trust. Trusting can be so hard for me because I so want to be on top of things and know what's going on and see what's happening. Trusting is letting God be in control like I say I want Him to be.

All of what was "thrown at me" happened in about the span of a couple weeks. But in the matter of about a week, after I let it go to trust, God showed me why I need to pray and trust first: He's got it! I was invited to Virtual Aberdeen Applicant Days (basically a chance, for those of us who can't make it to campus, to chat with students, profs, alumni, etc., watch videos of information, and just in general, a place where they've gathered up a bunch of information for us to look at). So, I went to the website, I followed a bunch of links, I learned a lot of information, I got excited again about the idea of going back to school! And then...I.found.it. I found the page that said that for financial aid, specifically with loans, I could just send my SAR! I didn't need to find my own lender, I didn't need to sign an MPN! I could just send it! That was amazing, and took off so much of the weight I'd tried to shoulder alone. But then with all of the information I'd found, I started wondering if I was the only one who hadn't been sent very similar sorts of information. So, fortunately I had the gumption to ask about it all. Come to find out, because of the new visa system the school hasn't been able to send out any of the "Joining Packs" to new students! So what I thought I had to do was make a lot of quick decisions and keep moving forward, but as I've been learning lately, sometimes waiting is still a part of moving forward. I'd been so busy asking God: how can I leave it to you when it feels like there's so much I still need to do. His answer: "there's not nearly as much that you need to do as you thought, give it to me". He's always reminding me of how amazing He is and how much He loves me.

So, like I said at the beginning, not much has actually happened, and yet, so much has been going on. Life keeps moving. Which is wonderful and difficult.

And finally. I know, sorry, rather long blog, I'm having 2 Nichelle Mysteries Events as fundraisers for Scotland! I'm super excited about them! One will be happening at home (as in where mom and dad are - home) and the other will be happening here! The story is really coming together and it promises to be quite amazing! :-D

Well, there you have it! An update! :D I'll try to not let it go so long in between so the next one isn't so long.

Allons-y!

just sharing a blessing...and a song...

God to enfold me,
God to surround me,
God in my speaking,
God in my thinking.

God in my sleeping,
God in my waking,
God in my watching,
God in my hoping.

God in my life,
God in my lips,
God in my soul,
God in my heart.

God in my sufficing,
God in my slumber,
God in mine ever-living soul,
God in mine eternity.
Ancient celtic oral traditions - carmina gadelica

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

be our guest...

Hello blog-readers!

I figured you're probably wondering why I haven't posted anything in a while...or why I haven't updated you about anything other than my grad school plans and trying to find the money to make them happen. Well you're right. I've been remiss.

There's a lot going on right now, from auditing an amazing class, to having a behind the scenes look at the amazing things God's doing in and through RH Fullerton, to just life. And well, if I were to actually start diving more into each of those, I think I'd go crazy with just too many thoughts happening all at once...But for you, I'm willing to go a little crazy.

The class I'm auditing is "Women Writing the Gothic" and it's been such an amazing class. I knew I'd love it if only because I so dearly loved the other Gothic course I took with this professor. But beyond that, it's been so interesting being a part of the conversations that my fellow students in the class are having. Taking part in thoughtfully reading and academically discussing books that, in most cases, have simply been brushed aside in academia as being sub-par, chick-lit, novels...which only makes me think about the course of study I'm intending to pursue at Aberdeen...sorry I said I wouldn't talk about that this time around. I'd go into more about the class right now, but I think it probably deserves a blog entry of its own. Or several...

On the church side of things...RH Fullerton (the expression of Rock Harbor in North Orange County, specifically Fullerton) has been meeting with evening services since the end of February, and although we may have reached a place where our weekly numbers aren't over-packing our facility, we are definitely growing as a community. It's been fun to see how God has been working in each of the individual lives of the people He's brought together to make up this campus. This week is the beginning of the next phase, and I'm sooooo excited about it! This week we're moving beyond just our once-a-week gatherings! This week is the first week of lifegroup launch! Lifegroups, appropriately named, are the groups where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, and we actually get to start living and caring for each other in a tighter community, as well as reaching out together...where basically, we do life - together. I've been blessed by the relationships I've formed in the lifegroup I'm in, but we've unfortunately dwindled in number. So, this week, we're going to be re-launching! To add a few more to our midst as well as to, say, again, as a group that we're fully a part of this campus! I'm excited, did I say that already? ;-) I'm praying for the people in my lifegroup already and for the people who will come to be in my lifegroup! And I can't wait to meet them!

I'll save other life stuff for another post...but there's an update for now.

allons-y!

friends, romans, countrymen!

lend me your recyclables!

yes, you read that right. I have a friend who is a genius, she suggested another way of fund raising that I hadn't thought about: recycling! So, for those of you who either do or don't recycle, would you consider saving it for me? So I can maybe take another small dent out of the cost of going to the University of Aberdeen? Thanks!

allons-y!
grace and peace

something new!

yes, that's a "donate" button over there. yes, it's new. yes, it's to help fund my trip to Scotland for grad school, and finally yes, you will get something (a token of my appreciation) for donating. To see what it is you'll get you'll have to donate (a minimum of $2.00 for the gift). Any other amount is welcome! :D

Ok, I know this is a little weird, and I feel a little silly having it (the button) on here...but I figure: it can't hurt!

after I added the donate button, I started doing some number crunching and realized that if all of my friends on facebook were able to donate $85, I'd be able to pay for all of the expenses involved with going to grad school in Scotland (aka: tuition, food, place to live, getting there, coming back...). Isn't that crazy! I can't even imagine it! It sounds so simple! Anyway, I just thought I'd share. Thanks for listening.

isn't it funny?

In doctor who this would be ascribed to the latent psychic ability within humans, but I'm not sure to what to ascribe it. However, the very day I posted the last blog was the day upon which I was accepted to study in the M.Lit programme in the Novel at the University of Aberdeen! Of course the letter saying as much didn't reach me until Saturday night, and since I was out of town, I didn't open it until Sunday night, but it just struck me as funny that the day I posted on this blog that I still hadn't heard was the day I was officially accepted and offered a place for the 2010/2011 Academic year! I'm so excited, and relieved to have heard, but feeling rather daunted by what needs to happen between now and 21 Sept. 2010 for me to be able to go. I just want to thank you all for your prayers thus far and ask that you continue to pray for me as I try to figure out how to raise funds and that I continue to trust and lean on God for His peace, wisdom, and guidance in all of this! Thanks again!

Allons-y!!!!!! (apparently to Scotland!)

oops....

Just because the application was out of my hands, I didn't mean to stop blogging for a month...I guess that happens when you're expectantly waiting. Well, in case you're wondering, I haven't heard back from Aberdeen yet. Well, that's not entirely true. I got the initial "we've received your application" automatic-reply email and about two weeks ago I received a more personal email from the International Student Liaison for North America, and today I got the "applicant Ezine" from Aberdeen. So I at least know that they have my information. What I would love is either an email or a letter just letting me know whether or not they like me. Whether or not I can move on with my life, either towards Scotland or towards something else. Ok, well that's enough anxious rambling for now. I'll come back later, but hopefully not a month later, and tell you all about something else going on in my life. :)

Allons-y!