I'm apparently bad at this blogging thing....

For those of you who prefer to not have too much in your various "reader" feeds, then my lack of posts probably has been a good thing. I apologize to those who have been hanging on the end of the last post since September. It's so strange to think about the fact that I haven't posted since September of last year. There'll be an update or two soon. And then I intend to get better at this posting thing because this'll be the place I keep updated with the coming adventures!

upate time!

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope this little update letter finds you all doing well. I just wanted to let you know what's going on in my life. As you may know, back in February I applied to the MLitt. Programme in the Novel at the University of Aberdeen in Scotland. Although there was a good bit of waiting, I found out in April that I was accepted! Of course, at that point, I knew that didn't necessarily mean I'd be going this Fall, simply because, well, school - especially internationally - is expensive. In the meantime, I searched out as many of the various scholarships and other funding sources that were still available to me, and I used some of my own means - from recycling to hosting several murder mystery parties for the cause - to try to raise some of the money. And, praise God, I did raise a good amount of money, unfortunately, as I drew closer to the end of the Summer, it looked like it would only barely scratch the surface, leaving a significant amount that would have to be covered by student loans.

I spent the month of July in prayer about whether I should go; taking on nearly double my school debt and whether that would be the wisest way to steward God's resources. After seeking God, and asking many of you to join me in doing so, I also sought counsel from my parents and others in my life that I trust as wise advisors. In the end, as you may have been able to figure out, since you're getting this update, I contacted Aberdeen and requested to defer my enrollment date to next September and will be spending this year applying for scholarship after scholarship and continuing to seek God with this now-and-not-yet part of my life.

If you could keep me in your prayers for this year, I would greatly appreciate it! I've decided to see this year as a time to live and grow in the relationships God has brought me into here, but also with an eye towards what the next year will bring as I head to Scotland. Already, in the month of August, I've seen God show up in working on my heart as I have been dealing with the disappointment about not leaving for Scotland as soon as I would have hoped, as well as the ways in which He's blessed me with great friends and church family! Also, be praying about the scholarships as I go searching.

Thanks for all of your love and support from the beginning of this process and your continued prayer through these next stages!

grace and peace,
Janelle Hann

beginning again...

or at least that's what it feels like. It feels like I'm back at the beginning of this process of school. Knowing I have a year until I leave is a little sad, a significant relief, and altogether strange. When I'd set my mind on leaving in a month it's weird to think that it will be a month and a year. But I'm glad I'll have the time to save more/raise more/find more funding and get the other aspects together.

I'm sure it doesn't help the feeling of starting over that I'll still be moving into a new place in the new future. So it's beginning again in many ways. Which makes me think of the things that begin again all the time: days, grace,...what a cyclical life we have here on Earth.

allons-y!

news!

Hello Dear Friends (and/or random internet readers).

So, since the post I made about prayer requests, my life has been full of exciting new twists and turns. Everyday in July, my resolve to defer my start date for Aberdeen has become more firm. There have been different reassurances of that direction. I still am waiting to see if I hear about the scholarships, but it seems more likely that I'll be around here for another year. To explain: I've been weighing the possibility of taking on almost double the school debt I have currently in order to pay for the year in Aberdeen or, taking the opportunity to defer my start date (which I'm allowed to do once, before having to re-apply) and spend the interim year saving like crazy, maybe picking up another job or just working even harder at my mary kay and murder mystery businesses in order to not have to rely only on student loans.

With that being said, the other part of what's been going on is that my current apartment is being blown to the four corners. As I was going to be leaving for school and one of the other gals is going to be leaving for the Middle East in the near future, we were all making plans for leaving this place around August. Well, a good number of the plans changed (like mine and my immediate room-roommate's) but not everyone's did, so we gave our 30-days on July 8th, and we've all been hustling to find new places. It's sad to see this apartment split. It's been fun living with these girls! I'm fortunate enough to be able to keep living with my flattie (the room-roommate) and to be adding another friend from church/biola, but the process for finding a place, and now, for trying to find a 4th person has certainly been interesting. Please pray for us as we try to get everything sorted. Thanks!

allons-y!

prayer requests

*post updated 6/30/10

as June ends, I want to ask for lots of prayer, that sounds a little selfish, but I believe that prayer is hugely important. Mostly, for the month of July, pray for me to a. have clarity b. wisdom, and c. feel palpably God's guidance. Thank you, so very much.

time to pack
time with friends
finances for school
transitioning well
travel
friends-yet-to-be-made
church family here
potential church family there
family
focus
time management
living situations
processing
and processes
and being processed

time

it's so relative. Days at work can feel like they're taking forever, a month from now can feel so close, two days from now can feel so far away. And what we do in the interim, in the waiting is important. learning to make time to listen and wait well can be so difficult. remembering to be present in the moments that pass, sometimes with rapidity, sometimes at a sloths' pace.

it's been a while

Hi Everyone,

I realize it's been a while since I've updated, but that's due to the fact that everything and yet nothing has happened. That's the thing about life. It keeps moving. And I say "that's the thing" because it's the best part and the most annoying part and the great part and the sad part. It keeps moving.

Well, last thing I said on here about Aberdeen is that I was collecting recyclables, and I still am. :-) I really need to turn in the trunk-full I have so that I can take the growing pile from out my apartment (sorry roommates...I'll take it out soon). If you happen to have any recyclables lying around, I'm still more than happy to take them.

*caveat: the following is slightly stream of consciousness, so bear with me as I explain what's been going on...

Since getting into the University of Aberdeen the focus has switched to finding the money to get there, as you've seen from the lovely donate button just to the left of this post, and the recycling program, etc. But it's also been searching endlessly for scholarships, grants, studentships, etc whose deadlines haven't already passed. Most of the ones I'd found were due back in February, or so. Wish I'd know that then. Then there's the possibility of loans. Do I take out loans? If so, how much? Do I get the loans now and then use what I'm hoping will come from elsewhere to pay them back? Do I find a lender like some information says I need to, or will Aberdeen take care of that for me? Will the lenders, with whom I've already worked, send their money to Scotland? or even cover grad school?
Of course there have been other things to focus on too, such as visa application processes, etc. What does it look like to get a visa to study in Scotland? I need a CAS? what's a CAS? (certificate of acceptance or something like that...) am I already supposed to have that? did Aberdeen send it? did I miss it? did I miss something I was supposed to send to them? Has volcanic ash slowed the mail so that they haven't gotten everything or so that I haven't gotten everything yet? What about housing? Aren't I supposed to get a package about what housing options I have? Oh, you mean no one's gotten their "Joining Pack" yet? So it's not just me? Oh good! So you're waiting too...ok, the rest of the visa application that I can't get to yet, what do I need for that? money? not just an application fee, but proof for all of the tuition? plus proof that I'll be able to sustain myself whilst abroad? are you kidding? I've been able to save how much? when do I find out about the scholarship that I could find? that gives how much time for them to process the visa? can it happen that fast? It's already half-way through May? When did that happen?

*freak out/stream of consciousness that was referenced in the caveat ends here. Below is an explanation.

To sum all of that up: there were lots of things thrown at me all of a sudden - 1st there are few to no scholarships out there that weren't due back before I applied; 2nd to apply for a student visa I need a couple of things, a school supplied CAS number and proof of money for tuition plus "maintenance" (aka: money to live on); 3rd FAFSA doesn't send the Student Aid Report (SAR) internationally - you have to ask for a paper copy, and then send it yourself; and as I read somewhere along the way I was under the impression that before I sent my SAR I'd need to find my own lender, sign an MPN (Master Promissory Note) and send it all together.

After much freaking out and finding out that a lot of what I "needed" to do couldn't be done yet, I prayed. I wish I could remember to do that first. I always seem to forget that part. Because each of the things "thrown" at me look familiar. It looks like God's saying, and this is how it is so Janelle can't boast of doing it on her own - to show His glory in all of it. After I prayed, I tried to trust. Trusting can be so hard for me because I so want to be on top of things and know what's going on and see what's happening. Trusting is letting God be in control like I say I want Him to be.

All of what was "thrown at me" happened in about the span of a couple weeks. But in the matter of about a week, after I let it go to trust, God showed me why I need to pray and trust first: He's got it! I was invited to Virtual Aberdeen Applicant Days (basically a chance, for those of us who can't make it to campus, to chat with students, profs, alumni, etc., watch videos of information, and just in general, a place where they've gathered up a bunch of information for us to look at). So, I went to the website, I followed a bunch of links, I learned a lot of information, I got excited again about the idea of going back to school! And then...I.found.it. I found the page that said that for financial aid, specifically with loans, I could just send my SAR! I didn't need to find my own lender, I didn't need to sign an MPN! I could just send it! That was amazing, and took off so much of the weight I'd tried to shoulder alone. But then with all of the information I'd found, I started wondering if I was the only one who hadn't been sent very similar sorts of information. So, fortunately I had the gumption to ask about it all. Come to find out, because of the new visa system the school hasn't been able to send out any of the "Joining Packs" to new students! So what I thought I had to do was make a lot of quick decisions and keep moving forward, but as I've been learning lately, sometimes waiting is still a part of moving forward. I'd been so busy asking God: how can I leave it to you when it feels like there's so much I still need to do. His answer: "there's not nearly as much that you need to do as you thought, give it to me". He's always reminding me of how amazing He is and how much He loves me.

So, like I said at the beginning, not much has actually happened, and yet, so much has been going on. Life keeps moving. Which is wonderful and difficult.

And finally. I know, sorry, rather long blog, I'm having 2 Nichelle Mysteries Events as fundraisers for Scotland! I'm super excited about them! One will be happening at home (as in where mom and dad are - home) and the other will be happening here! The story is really coming together and it promises to be quite amazing! :-D

Well, there you have it! An update! :D I'll try to not let it go so long in between so the next one isn't so long.

Allons-y!