whoa...I snapped...

Ok, so it wasn't a big snap, I've snapped big before, but it certainly wasn't a good snap. I've already apologized to the people involved (thanks for understanding, Beth)...but it put a certain amount of reality to something I'd already seen coming. I'm a people person...I love my friends and I love hanging out with them, but beyond that and above that, I'm an introvert (which more than anything else just means that I draw my energy from my time alone...for me it's usually time alone with a book). Despite all the time I get to spend on my own in my cubicle at work every day, it's not the sort of reviving alone-time that I need to recharge. When I started all of the things I'm involved in right now I was coming off of a serious recharge (which I hadn't really wanted by the end of that time). So I was ready to go! I was more than ok with coming home all but one night a week and having a 15-30min turn around to be wherever it was my friends were, doing whatever it was we'd planned on doing (always fun things)! I craved that time with people. But I also wasn't thinking about the fact that a lot of these things wouldn't slow down or taper off when I ran out of energy.

The last couple of weeks I've been trying to figure out a way to create more time for me. Time when I can finally finish a book that it's taken me more than a month to read (that never happens, especially with a book I'm interested in, like this one - I should have been done within a week, maybe 2). But being a people person, and even more so a people-pleaser, I haven't been able to figure out a way to say "no" to things. Maybe that's it...maybe I'm just being forced to learn to say no. The hard part comes when you're a people-pleaser and you'd rather wear yourself ragged than let your friends down. I guess this is all to say that A.) I'm going to be saying "no" more often, if I can; B.) I'd really love help in saying "no", I don't know what that means, maybe it means just give me the option/freedom to say it, don't make me feel like a jerk for saying it; C.) know that even if I am saying "no" right now it doesn't mean "never", or that I don't want to hang out with you, rather it means, I know I'm not going to be fun to be around until I can recharge, and I'm afraid I'm only going to keep snapping and it may only get bigger, if I don't learn to say "no".

this is fun!

so, this year at Convocation Chapel the Dean of Students read this "mindset" list, which was evidently borrowed from Beloit College and they've been doing it now for years... and it was interesting hearing all of that for those who are starting college this year, but it's even more fun reading about what my class' own "mindset is supposed to be (find below). The funny thing is that because of who I am (and who raised me) I know about a lot of these things that they say we'd missed out on. Obviously I didn't live through them...but still... Enjoy!

1. Most students entering college this fall were born in 1986.
2. Desi Arnaz, Orson Welles, Roy Orbison, Ted Bundy, Ayatollah Khomeini and Cary Grant have always been dead.
3. "Here's Johnny!" is a scary greeting from Jack Nicholson, not a warm welcome from Ed McMahon.
4. The Energizer bunny has always been going, and going, and going.
5. Large fine-print ads for prescription drugs have always appeared in magazines.
6. Photographs have always been processed in an hour or less.
7. They never got a chance to drink 7-Up Gold, Crystal Pepsi, or Apple Slice.
8. Baby Jessica could be a classmate.
9. Parents may have been reading The Bourne Supremacy or It as they rocked them in their cradles.
10. Alan Greenspan has always been setting the nation's financial direction.
11. The U.S. has always been a Prozac nation.
12. They have always enjoyed the comfort of pleather.
13. Harry has always known Sally.
14. They never saw Roseanne Rosannadanna live on Saturday Night Live.
15. There has always been a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
16. They never ate a McSub at McD's.
17. There has always been a Comedy Channel.
18. Bill and Ted have always been on an excellent adventure.
19. They were never tempted by smokeless cigarettes.
20. Robert Downey, Jr. has always been in trouble.
21. Martha Stewart has always been cooking up something with someone.
22. They have always been comfortable with gay characters on television.
23. Mike Tyson has always been a contender.
24. The government has always been proposing we go to Mars, and it has always been deemed too expensive.
25. There have never been any Playboy Clubs.
26. There have always been night games at Wrigley Field.
27. Rogaine has always been available for the follicularly challenged.
28. They never saw USA Today or the Christian Science Monitor as a TV news program.
29. Computers have always suffered from viruses.
30. We have always been mapping the human genome.
31. Politicians have always used rock music for theme songs.
32. Network television has always struggled to keep up with cable.
33. O'Hare has always been the most delay-plagued airport in the U.S.
34. Ivan Boesky has never sold stock.
35. Toll-free 800 phone numbers have always spelled out catchy phrases.
36. Bethlehem has never been a place of peace at Christmas.
37. Episcopal women bishops have always threatened the foundation of the Anglican Church.
38. Svelte Oprah has always dominated afternoon television; who was Phil Donahue anyway?
39. They never flew on People Express.
40. AZT has always been used to treat AIDS.
41. The international community has always been installing or removing the leader of Haiti.
42. Oliver North has always been a talk show host and news commentator.
43. They have suffered through airport security systems since they were in strollers.
44. They have done most of their search for the right college online.
45. Aspirin has always been used to reduce the risk of a heart attack.
46. They were spared the TV ads for Zamfir and his panpipes.
47. Castro has always been an aging politician in a suit.
48. There have always been non-stop flights around the world without refueling.
49. Cher hasn't aged a day.
50. M.A.S.H. was a game: Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House.