upate time!

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope this little update letter finds you all doing well. I just wanted to let you know what's going on in my life. As you may know, back in February I applied to the MLitt. Programme in the Novel at the University of Aberdeen in Scotland. Although there was a good bit of waiting, I found out in April that I was accepted! Of course, at that point, I knew that didn't necessarily mean I'd be going this Fall, simply because, well, school - especially internationally - is expensive. In the meantime, I searched out as many of the various scholarships and other funding sources that were still available to me, and I used some of my own means - from recycling to hosting several murder mystery parties for the cause - to try to raise some of the money. And, praise God, I did raise a good amount of money, unfortunately, as I drew closer to the end of the Summer, it looked like it would only barely scratch the surface, leaving a significant amount that would have to be covered by student loans.

I spent the month of July in prayer about whether I should go; taking on nearly double my school debt and whether that would be the wisest way to steward God's resources. After seeking God, and asking many of you to join me in doing so, I also sought counsel from my parents and others in my life that I trust as wise advisors. In the end, as you may have been able to figure out, since you're getting this update, I contacted Aberdeen and requested to defer my enrollment date to next September and will be spending this year applying for scholarship after scholarship and continuing to seek God with this now-and-not-yet part of my life.

If you could keep me in your prayers for this year, I would greatly appreciate it! I've decided to see this year as a time to live and grow in the relationships God has brought me into here, but also with an eye towards what the next year will bring as I head to Scotland. Already, in the month of August, I've seen God show up in working on my heart as I have been dealing with the disappointment about not leaving for Scotland as soon as I would have hoped, as well as the ways in which He's blessed me with great friends and church family! Also, be praying about the scholarships as I go searching.

Thanks for all of your love and support from the beginning of this process and your continued prayer through these next stages!

grace and peace,
Janelle Hann

beginning again...

or at least that's what it feels like. It feels like I'm back at the beginning of this process of school. Knowing I have a year until I leave is a little sad, a significant relief, and altogether strange. When I'd set my mind on leaving in a month it's weird to think that it will be a month and a year. But I'm glad I'll have the time to save more/raise more/find more funding and get the other aspects together.

I'm sure it doesn't help the feeling of starting over that I'll still be moving into a new place in the new future. So it's beginning again in many ways. Which makes me think of the things that begin again all the time: days, grace,...what a cyclical life we have here on Earth.

allons-y!

news!

Hello Dear Friends (and/or random internet readers).

So, since the post I made about prayer requests, my life has been full of exciting new twists and turns. Everyday in July, my resolve to defer my start date for Aberdeen has become more firm. There have been different reassurances of that direction. I still am waiting to see if I hear about the scholarships, but it seems more likely that I'll be around here for another year. To explain: I've been weighing the possibility of taking on almost double the school debt I have currently in order to pay for the year in Aberdeen or, taking the opportunity to defer my start date (which I'm allowed to do once, before having to re-apply) and spend the interim year saving like crazy, maybe picking up another job or just working even harder at my mary kay and murder mystery businesses in order to not have to rely only on student loans.

With that being said, the other part of what's been going on is that my current apartment is being blown to the four corners. As I was going to be leaving for school and one of the other gals is going to be leaving for the Middle East in the near future, we were all making plans for leaving this place around August. Well, a good number of the plans changed (like mine and my immediate room-roommate's) but not everyone's did, so we gave our 30-days on July 8th, and we've all been hustling to find new places. It's sad to see this apartment split. It's been fun living with these girls! I'm fortunate enough to be able to keep living with my flattie (the room-roommate) and to be adding another friend from church/biola, but the process for finding a place, and now, for trying to find a 4th person has certainly been interesting. Please pray for us as we try to get everything sorted. Thanks!

allons-y!

prayer requests

*post updated 6/30/10

as June ends, I want to ask for lots of prayer, that sounds a little selfish, but I believe that prayer is hugely important. Mostly, for the month of July, pray for me to a. have clarity b. wisdom, and c. feel palpably God's guidance. Thank you, so very much.

time to pack
time with friends
finances for school
transitioning well
travel
friends-yet-to-be-made
church family here
potential church family there
family
focus
time management
living situations
processing
and processes
and being processed

time

it's so relative. Days at work can feel like they're taking forever, a month from now can feel so close, two days from now can feel so far away. And what we do in the interim, in the waiting is important. learning to make time to listen and wait well can be so difficult. remembering to be present in the moments that pass, sometimes with rapidity, sometimes at a sloths' pace.

it's been a while

Hi Everyone,

I realize it's been a while since I've updated, but that's due to the fact that everything and yet nothing has happened. That's the thing about life. It keeps moving. And I say "that's the thing" because it's the best part and the most annoying part and the great part and the sad part. It keeps moving.

Well, last thing I said on here about Aberdeen is that I was collecting recyclables, and I still am. :-) I really need to turn in the trunk-full I have so that I can take the growing pile from out my apartment (sorry roommates...I'll take it out soon). If you happen to have any recyclables lying around, I'm still more than happy to take them.

*caveat: the following is slightly stream of consciousness, so bear with me as I explain what's been going on...

Since getting into the University of Aberdeen the focus has switched to finding the money to get there, as you've seen from the lovely donate button just to the left of this post, and the recycling program, etc. But it's also been searching endlessly for scholarships, grants, studentships, etc whose deadlines haven't already passed. Most of the ones I'd found were due back in February, or so. Wish I'd know that then. Then there's the possibility of loans. Do I take out loans? If so, how much? Do I get the loans now and then use what I'm hoping will come from elsewhere to pay them back? Do I find a lender like some information says I need to, or will Aberdeen take care of that for me? Will the lenders, with whom I've already worked, send their money to Scotland? or even cover grad school?
Of course there have been other things to focus on too, such as visa application processes, etc. What does it look like to get a visa to study in Scotland? I need a CAS? what's a CAS? (certificate of acceptance or something like that...) am I already supposed to have that? did Aberdeen send it? did I miss it? did I miss something I was supposed to send to them? Has volcanic ash slowed the mail so that they haven't gotten everything or so that I haven't gotten everything yet? What about housing? Aren't I supposed to get a package about what housing options I have? Oh, you mean no one's gotten their "Joining Pack" yet? So it's not just me? Oh good! So you're waiting too...ok, the rest of the visa application that I can't get to yet, what do I need for that? money? not just an application fee, but proof for all of the tuition? plus proof that I'll be able to sustain myself whilst abroad? are you kidding? I've been able to save how much? when do I find out about the scholarship that I could find? that gives how much time for them to process the visa? can it happen that fast? It's already half-way through May? When did that happen?

*freak out/stream of consciousness that was referenced in the caveat ends here. Below is an explanation.

To sum all of that up: there were lots of things thrown at me all of a sudden - 1st there are few to no scholarships out there that weren't due back before I applied; 2nd to apply for a student visa I need a couple of things, a school supplied CAS number and proof of money for tuition plus "maintenance" (aka: money to live on); 3rd FAFSA doesn't send the Student Aid Report (SAR) internationally - you have to ask for a paper copy, and then send it yourself; and as I read somewhere along the way I was under the impression that before I sent my SAR I'd need to find my own lender, sign an MPN (Master Promissory Note) and send it all together.

After much freaking out and finding out that a lot of what I "needed" to do couldn't be done yet, I prayed. I wish I could remember to do that first. I always seem to forget that part. Because each of the things "thrown" at me look familiar. It looks like God's saying, and this is how it is so Janelle can't boast of doing it on her own - to show His glory in all of it. After I prayed, I tried to trust. Trusting can be so hard for me because I so want to be on top of things and know what's going on and see what's happening. Trusting is letting God be in control like I say I want Him to be.

All of what was "thrown at me" happened in about the span of a couple weeks. But in the matter of about a week, after I let it go to trust, God showed me why I need to pray and trust first: He's got it! I was invited to Virtual Aberdeen Applicant Days (basically a chance, for those of us who can't make it to campus, to chat with students, profs, alumni, etc., watch videos of information, and just in general, a place where they've gathered up a bunch of information for us to look at). So, I went to the website, I followed a bunch of links, I learned a lot of information, I got excited again about the idea of going back to school! And then...I.found.it. I found the page that said that for financial aid, specifically with loans, I could just send my SAR! I didn't need to find my own lender, I didn't need to sign an MPN! I could just send it! That was amazing, and took off so much of the weight I'd tried to shoulder alone. But then with all of the information I'd found, I started wondering if I was the only one who hadn't been sent very similar sorts of information. So, fortunately I had the gumption to ask about it all. Come to find out, because of the new visa system the school hasn't been able to send out any of the "Joining Packs" to new students! So what I thought I had to do was make a lot of quick decisions and keep moving forward, but as I've been learning lately, sometimes waiting is still a part of moving forward. I'd been so busy asking God: how can I leave it to you when it feels like there's so much I still need to do. His answer: "there's not nearly as much that you need to do as you thought, give it to me". He's always reminding me of how amazing He is and how much He loves me.

So, like I said at the beginning, not much has actually happened, and yet, so much has been going on. Life keeps moving. Which is wonderful and difficult.

And finally. I know, sorry, rather long blog, I'm having 2 Nichelle Mysteries Events as fundraisers for Scotland! I'm super excited about them! One will be happening at home (as in where mom and dad are - home) and the other will be happening here! The story is really coming together and it promises to be quite amazing! :-D

Well, there you have it! An update! :D I'll try to not let it go so long in between so the next one isn't so long.

Allons-y!

just sharing a blessing...and a song...

God to enfold me,
God to surround me,
God in my speaking,
God in my thinking.

God in my sleeping,
God in my waking,
God in my watching,
God in my hoping.

God in my life,
God in my lips,
God in my soul,
God in my heart.

God in my sufficing,
God in my slumber,
God in mine ever-living soul,
God in mine eternity.
Ancient celtic oral traditions - carmina gadelica

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

be our guest...

Hello blog-readers!

I figured you're probably wondering why I haven't posted anything in a while...or why I haven't updated you about anything other than my grad school plans and trying to find the money to make them happen. Well you're right. I've been remiss.

There's a lot going on right now, from auditing an amazing class, to having a behind the scenes look at the amazing things God's doing in and through RH Fullerton, to just life. And well, if I were to actually start diving more into each of those, I think I'd go crazy with just too many thoughts happening all at once...But for you, I'm willing to go a little crazy.

The class I'm auditing is "Women Writing the Gothic" and it's been such an amazing class. I knew I'd love it if only because I so dearly loved the other Gothic course I took with this professor. But beyond that, it's been so interesting being a part of the conversations that my fellow students in the class are having. Taking part in thoughtfully reading and academically discussing books that, in most cases, have simply been brushed aside in academia as being sub-par, chick-lit, novels...which only makes me think about the course of study I'm intending to pursue at Aberdeen...sorry I said I wouldn't talk about that this time around. I'd go into more about the class right now, but I think it probably deserves a blog entry of its own. Or several...

On the church side of things...RH Fullerton (the expression of Rock Harbor in North Orange County, specifically Fullerton) has been meeting with evening services since the end of February, and although we may have reached a place where our weekly numbers aren't over-packing our facility, we are definitely growing as a community. It's been fun to see how God has been working in each of the individual lives of the people He's brought together to make up this campus. This week is the beginning of the next phase, and I'm sooooo excited about it! This week we're moving beyond just our once-a-week gatherings! This week is the first week of lifegroup launch! Lifegroups, appropriately named, are the groups where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, and we actually get to start living and caring for each other in a tighter community, as well as reaching out together...where basically, we do life - together. I've been blessed by the relationships I've formed in the lifegroup I'm in, but we've unfortunately dwindled in number. So, this week, we're going to be re-launching! To add a few more to our midst as well as to, say, again, as a group that we're fully a part of this campus! I'm excited, did I say that already? ;-) I'm praying for the people in my lifegroup already and for the people who will come to be in my lifegroup! And I can't wait to meet them!

I'll save other life stuff for another post...but there's an update for now.

allons-y!

friends, romans, countrymen!

lend me your recyclables!

yes, you read that right. I have a friend who is a genius, she suggested another way of fund raising that I hadn't thought about: recycling! So, for those of you who either do or don't recycle, would you consider saving it for me? So I can maybe take another small dent out of the cost of going to the University of Aberdeen? Thanks!

allons-y!
grace and peace

something new!

yes, that's a "donate" button over there. yes, it's new. yes, it's to help fund my trip to Scotland for grad school, and finally yes, you will get something (a token of my appreciation) for donating. To see what it is you'll get you'll have to donate (a minimum of $2.00 for the gift). Any other amount is welcome! :D

Ok, I know this is a little weird, and I feel a little silly having it (the button) on here...but I figure: it can't hurt!

after I added the donate button, I started doing some number crunching and realized that if all of my friends on facebook were able to donate $85, I'd be able to pay for all of the expenses involved with going to grad school in Scotland (aka: tuition, food, place to live, getting there, coming back...). Isn't that crazy! I can't even imagine it! It sounds so simple! Anyway, I just thought I'd share. Thanks for listening.

isn't it funny?

In doctor who this would be ascribed to the latent psychic ability within humans, but I'm not sure to what to ascribe it. However, the very day I posted the last blog was the day upon which I was accepted to study in the M.Lit programme in the Novel at the University of Aberdeen! Of course the letter saying as much didn't reach me until Saturday night, and since I was out of town, I didn't open it until Sunday night, but it just struck me as funny that the day I posted on this blog that I still hadn't heard was the day I was officially accepted and offered a place for the 2010/2011 Academic year! I'm so excited, and relieved to have heard, but feeling rather daunted by what needs to happen between now and 21 Sept. 2010 for me to be able to go. I just want to thank you all for your prayers thus far and ask that you continue to pray for me as I try to figure out how to raise funds and that I continue to trust and lean on God for His peace, wisdom, and guidance in all of this! Thanks again!

Allons-y!!!!!! (apparently to Scotland!)

oops....

Just because the application was out of my hands, I didn't mean to stop blogging for a month...I guess that happens when you're expectantly waiting. Well, in case you're wondering, I haven't heard back from Aberdeen yet. Well, that's not entirely true. I got the initial "we've received your application" automatic-reply email and about two weeks ago I received a more personal email from the International Student Liaison for North America, and today I got the "applicant Ezine" from Aberdeen. So I at least know that they have my information. What I would love is either an email or a letter just letting me know whether or not they like me. Whether or not I can move on with my life, either towards Scotland or towards something else. Ok, well that's enough anxious rambling for now. I'll come back later, but hopefully not a month later, and tell you all about something else going on in my life. :)

Allons-y!

and it's off!

my application has been sent and it'll probably take about a month or so for me to hear back from them...so now I wait!

Winds in the east, mist comin' in....

like something is brewing, about to begin, can't put me finger on what lies in store, but I feel what's to happen all happened before.
- Bert (Mary Poppins)

Those words spoken by Bert (whether played by Dick Van Dyke or by Gavin Lee - on stage) always give me the goosebumps! They're so exciting and welcoming. A great start to a story, especially one as magical as Mary Poppins!

Amazingly enough, well I guess I shouldn't be too amazed as it was Disney producing it, Mary Poppins the stage play was just as full of magic and wonder and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious as the original movie. And, if possible it even brought P.L. Travers' character of Mary back to the story, at least I think it struck a great balance between the book and the film Marys.

The play was a dream! It was phenomenal, it was amazing, for lack of any better words it was indeed completely Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!! Or perhaps it was Practically perfect in every way which made going to see it quite the Jolly Holiday! :-D

The staging and set design made me and my fellow theatre-minded flattie drool. From a flat-looking Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane that opened into a doll-house-esque set which by a snap of his fingers and a flick of his wrist, Bert, the real one in control of the story, could send across the stage. That's something else, the way in which they broke the 4th wall with Bert's knowing looks or "hey, see what I can do" nods to the audience made for a truly fun/interactive sort of atmosphere.

I'd keep going and tell you all about all of it, but I'll wait until next week to add the special parts as I don't want to give any of the most amazing parts away to those of you who may be going to see it before it leaves LA! I highly suggest going to see it! It's sooo worth it!

new location!

Hi everyone, yep, I've moved. Sorry about the lack of fore-warning. It was a sudden decision. The move is in part due to the fact that I want to start working on branding "words words words" as something other than my blog. It will, hopefully, be the name of the bookstore I want to open, so I figure I'd eliminate one thing out on the web that is title as such but has little to nothing to do with my bookstore. So, find me here, now! :D Thanks!

so...apparently I haven't updated this in a while!

Sorry, no new pictures of fun baked goods to share today, although I did reprise the Chocolate-Earl Grey Cake for my lovely flattie's birthday. This time it was a 3-tiered, star-shaped cake instead of being bundt and was frosted with cream cheese frosting and dusted with purple "sanding sugar". It was a hit, of course! Personally I think a lighter flavored frosting is best to compliment the Chocolate-Earl Grey tones, just because cream cheese, or even the brown-butter frosting nearly, over-shadow the other flavors. Oh, and I made a non-baked recipe: a veggie-chili! So yummy! Oh, but I wasn't going to talk about my latest culinary escapades, I was going to share the story of what's going on right now in my life.

Oh, happy new year, by the way! I just realized that I haven't posted on here since then. Well, I guess I'll start there, at the beginning of the new year.

I finally did what I've been talking about/wanting to do for quite a while: I spent New Year's Eve camping out along the Tournament of Roses Parade route in order to have a great viewing spot for said event the morning of the New Year! Of course, I was not alone in this endeavor, for most of the evening I was accompanied by my friends Rusty and Tori, as well as all of the families and youth groups and others who were also on the street with us. After she got off of work, after we'd all rung-in the new year at midnight, my flattie and her boyfriend (well, I guess when they got there he wasn't her boyfriend yet...but that changed that night/morning) showed up! And despite expecting to not be able to sleep, I fell asleep around 3-ish and then woke up just around sunrise. And despite the lack of sleep, and the sun in our faces, we thoroughly enjoyed the parade!

This next part requires a bit of a preface. A year ago I was working for ThinkinBig Communications, a PR Firm/event planners-coordinators/well, let's be honest ThinkinBig is awesome and does it all (mostly because we've got such an amazing Principal - Lorraine). Well, last year's Christmas present from ThinkinBig to all of our clients/associates/various connections was I am not a Paper Cup along with an explanation of a "resolution revolution". Here's the explanation:

"'The Experiment: What's the word? A resolution revolution'

New Year's resolutions have never worked for me, especially in a world of information overload. It's another list that gets lost before January ends. That's why in Y2K some friends and I committed to a WORD for the year. A single word or short phrase that would be the compass, true north, filter and driving force for the year ahead. One you want to own. One you remember. One that inspired you, makes you think, grow and learn.

For example, my JUMP year I ran a marathon, took bigger risks in business, and learned new ways of relating to the most important people in my life. Another year, PAUSE inspired me to take time to read, to build margin in my schedule, and to be quicker to listen and slower to speak.

In a year of DOWNTURN, UNCERTAINTY, CHANGE and BAILOUT, we need more GOOD, HOPE and PERSPECTIVE. The power of a single word can shift opinions, change events, reshape habits...

-Lorraine O'Keefe
principal, ThinkinBig Communications"

So, last year I tried to pick a word and it didn't work the way I'd hoped. Mostly because I picked a word that sounded better than really choosing something based on meaning. So this year I intended to really spend time thinking about the word I'd choose for the year. Based on a lot of things I'd been thinking about lately, about life and getting outside my comfort zone, and well, Beauty and the Beast...or at least a song from it...wanting adventure in the great wide somewhere...and just when I was deciding that my word should be adventure, I was reminded of a French phrase often used by the Doctor (as portrayed by David Tennant): allons-y. Below is my explanation of allons-y:

allons {a-like in apple+llons-like you're gonna say long but you don't get to the ng and you don't pronounce the s if there's not a vowel following the word} from the french verb aller meaning in the infinitive "to go", this is the nous {new} or "we" conjugation meaning: we go.

y {like you're saying the letter "e"} a french clitic (think like the English "an", "a morpheme that is grammatically independent, but phonologically dependent on another word. It is pronounced like an affix, but works at the phrase level." - thanks wikipedia) taking the place of a location-in other words, generally meaning "there".

allons-y {a-like in apple+llon-like you're gonna say long but you only sorta get to the ng+s-which is more like a sound between s and z+y-like you're saying the letter "e"} a two-word french phrase meaning let's go = my word/phrase for the year as it encapsulates carpe diem attitude that necessitates more than just me, alone "going"...in community and with God on this adventure.

So, this is all the preface to what I really meant to update you about.

Going back to before New Year's, again: for about a month or so I've had this ad show up on Facebook and as with most of the ads on Facebook, I ignored it. Well, I ignored it to the best of my ability. But it was advertising studying in Scotland! If you know me, you know I'd find that difficult to ignore. But I convinced myself that it wasn't really aimed at me. Instead it was supposed to be aimed at people who needed to do their undergrad studies...or so I assumed. A few weeks ago I was shown the error of my assumption as the wording of the ad changed to: Get your Masters in a year at a Scottish University. They knew how to get to me. I clicked on the link, however wary that it may be something strange or dangerous, or fake. I read, I opened new tabs of information from the different Universities where this scholarship would be accepted. I favored St. Andrews, but they had the usual sounding/looking programs that I'd seen other places that would be mildly fascinating, but weren't necessarily something I'd prefer to study. So, I moved on to the other schools, and in amongst the University of Aberdeen's taught programmes, I found it! A programme for me on The Novel! And I don't mean novel as in new and interesting things which may be called novel. No, it's that now-common form of literature that hasn't been around as long as we may like to think. That form that was belittled, along with its readers, as being silly and frivolous near its inception, but has since been associated with great works of literature, and the "intelligentsia". And so, I am working on an application to the University of Aberdeen to work on an MLitt in "The Novel". If I get in (and can raise the funds) I'll be leaving for Scotland in the Fall to commence my graduate studies. (!!!!!!!!!) If not, however, I'll be here still, happy to know that I have found an interesting programme of study and that I've applied for grad school, and working hard to get words words words (the bookstore) set-up!

Well, there you have it! There's my update. Please be praying for me in this new adventure of applying for grad school - primarily for God's will in all of this, but also for my sanity as I try to pull everything together for the application, and whatever may or may not come after. Thank you!